December 27, 2018
My mother is staying at my home for the holiday, and yesterday I took her and other relatives to see my Yoga office.
This moment has been ten years in the making. She hasn’t been in my home since 2009.
A long story short, and a common story amongst LGBTQ folks, my mother wasn’t down with my “gayness.” The last time she visited, some very disrespectful things were said and done on her part. To protect and honor my Self, I told her she was no longer welcome in my home. Thus, an already strained relationship was almost completely eradicated.
Fast forward to 2014. She called me out of the blue one day and apologized for how she’d treated me. Said that I was still her child and that if she can love gay strangers and co-workers, she should do no less for her child. I was taken aback, and had my doubts. Honestly, I figured it was a momentary conviction likely brought on by some sermon, and that within a few days or weeks, she’d go back to her original position.
She did not. And our healing began.
Now it’s the tail end of 2018. She’s staying at my house and respecting all aspects of being here. It’s been a great and loving visit. And she’s proud of me.
In the past, I never would have imagined this happening. I had made peace with the rift between us and was fine with it until death do us part. But my mother took the first step toward reaching out and healing our connection. SHE decided that she was done with the emotional distance. SHE decided that she was still going to love me no matter what. And even if she still doesn’t fully “agree with” or understand my queer identity, she no longer lets that get in the way of caring about me. And as her child, that’s all I’d ever wanted.
In this moment, my place is a complete mess. Toilets have gone through multiple struggles, and there’s a dang dog going in and out my house. My cat is locked away in my bedroom for everyone’s safety. And my electric bill is gonna be crazy high.
But my mother loves me and is not only comfortable in my home, but also welcome to be here. Any superficial minor issues are a small price to pay for this peace.
I am grateful for this moment.