#SoulSharing: That Time I Stopped Taking My Meds

May 7, 2019

Many of us walk a difficult path on our journey of mental health wellness. It’s often filled with obstacles that repeatedly trip us up. Part of the journey is learning how to overcome the hindrances that try to drag us down, and a necessary skill to do so is early identification of when a possible stumble is near. It’s not always obvious.

Some are as large as boulders that you simply can’t miss, and require a full stop for you to deal with it head on. Others are subtle, like a tiny pebble in your shoe that simply makes the journey uncomfortable, but still doable. Then there are the invisible traps that snare you unexpectedly, like a hidden hole in the ground.

I recently fell down a hole.

And even worse, it was a hole I dug myself.

Many people who take meds for balanced mental health are aware of the paradoxical cycle that comes along with them:
-You take meds to feel better.
-You eventually feel better.
-You start to think you don’t need the meds anymore cuz you feel better.
-You stop taking your meds.
-You stop feeling better.

Over the past couple of weeks, I got lazy with my meds. I didn’t intentionally stop taking them; I just stopped intentionally taking them. In other words, I didn’t make the conscious effort to ensure I was taking them each day. I’d go multiple days without, then would absentmindedly be like, “Oh, did I take my meds? Meh….it’s fine.”

And it was fine. Until it wasn’t.

Saturday I had a mini episode. I say “mini” because it came and went within a span of 24 hours, and it wasn’t particularly severe. It was a pebble in my shoe. But it could have been a boulder blocking my way, covering the hole that I’d dug for myself and fallen in to by not being more intentional about my meds.

Of course after that, I’m back on my daily regiment. And I’m keeping an eye on my inner being to look out for any future obstacles that may come my way. I can’t control the boulders. I can’t always avoid the pebbles. But I can damn sure not dig my own hole and not get in my own way. I can and will remember to take my meds, and will do better at avoiding the cycle.

If you connected to this story, join me in reconnecting to the intention of inner wellness. Take your meds. And when you start feeling better, keep taking your meds. We don’t need to add unnecessary struggles on our journey. Life gives us plenty.

Be well, spirits. 🙏🏾❤

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