#SoulSharing: What Cleansing Looks Like

October 20, 2019

This is what cleansing looks like.

Cleansing from a long hot shower where I enjoyed the warm water cascading over my skin.

Cleansing from caring for my cherished loc garden and tending to my roots with moisture.

Cleansing from a 5-day long battle with a major depression episode, finally able to wash away the darkness that threatened to take me under.

This is what cleansing looks like.
This is what victory looks like.

Victory over the pain of healed relational wounds that depression has viciously ripped open anew.

Victory over the pain of a shattered heart when depression replays the trauma of being abandoned again and again and again and again by those I’ve loved deeply.

Victory over the pain of feeling that my life is worthless as depression whispers that I have no permanent value to others, and that I will always, always be disposable to everyone I meet.

This is what my cleansing looks like, what my victory looks like, after fighting for my life against my own brain.

It is another battle won in a war that will be waged for the rest of my life. But every new victory means more days to live. More days for happiness and joy. More days for friendships and love. And even more days for darkness and woe. But I welcome it all, because those experiences will mean I’m still alive. And being alive means taking it one day at a time. One victory at a time.

Thank you for reading. 🙏🏾

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