#SoulSharing: On Ever-Evolving Queer Identity

May 26, 2021

I’ve become comfortable with “agender non-binary” as my identity, while also recognizing that I’m “cis-adjacent” because I’m read as and navigate this world as a “woman” due to my appearance. When people talk about feeling like their gender, I don’t know what that feels like outside of societal gender norms and attachments to genital sex.

Like, what does it feel like to be a “woman” or a “man”? I often think about how if I woke up in a male/man-perceived body, would I feel differently on some gender level than I do now in this female form? At first I thought maybe, but then I realized I’d feel different if I woke up in a different female body as well because it’d just be a body I’m not used to. AND depending on my weight, height, skin color, etc. people will interact with me differently based on, again, societal norms and expectations. So then I find myself back at my original question of what does gender feel like?

For myself, unless I’m able to have multiple lived experiences in multiple bodies, I can’t absolutely identify with a gendered feeling. I know only what it feels like to be me in this current body, and I give zero phukks about living up to imaginary gender expectations based on it.

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